Audiobook: My Beautiful Suicide: My Beautiful Suicide Series, Volume 1
  • Overall
  • Story/Plot
  • Narration
My Beautiful Suicide Book Cover My Beautiful Suicide
My Beautiful Suicide Series
Written by: Atty Eve Narrated by: Michelle Sparks
Psychological Thriller
Spikenard Publishing
March 28, 2018
Listening Length: 11 hours and 41 minutes

This book is a dark, twisted, unsettling tale. Though the main character is sixteen, it is definitely NOT for young teens. You've been warned.

“Suicide is selfish.

It tells the world that you are weak. It tells the world your family and friends have failed. It leaves them with guilt that they could have done more but didn’t. It tells them they are clueless and helpless.

I am weak, but I am not selfish.

My suicide will not leave my family and friends with guilt and shame; it will leave them thankful that they knew me for the short time I was here.” – Cosette Hugo

Her brother died. Her parents divorced. Her high school bully is relentless. Cosette doesn’t have a lot to live for, but it isn’t until she accidentally kills someone that Cosette makes the decision to take her own life.

Unwilling to bring shame to her mom, best friend Mattie, or her boyfriend Chris, Cosette decides the best method of suicide is to become a victim of the local serial killer, The Poser. But every time she goes out to find him she gets attacked; her instincts take over, and she ends up killing her attackers. This quickly leads to unbearable guilt. Desperate to finish this before she gets caught or racks up more victims, Cosette does the unthinkable.

“And when I reach my final goal, to meet my brother in heaven, and we’re looking down at my victim in Hell, he will say to me ‘Well done, Cosette. What a Beautiful Suicide.’”

So let’s get this out of the way right off the bat. This book isn’t for everyone, and honestly? not even for most. This is a DARK twisted story that follows the struggle and eventual demise of a teenage girl struggling with mental illness. There are some definite trigger warnings for this title. Triggers include: Suicide, Mental Illness, Self Harm, Child Abuse, Sexual Assault, Violence, and Rape. These are depicted on the page and can be tough to read for people who are not prepared or are sensitive to these subjects. I am usually an open reader and this one was a tough one for me. But if you enjoy a darker more intense read, this title is absolutely for you!

All that being said… My Beautiful Suicide is a fast-paced story that grabs you by the neck in the first chapter and never lets go. The story follows High School junior Cosette Hugo as she tries to navigate her ever darkening world. On top of the usual struggles of being a 16-year-old girl, Cosette is left reeling from her older brother’s sudden death, her parents divorce, a wicked stepmother, and a nightmare of a bully at school… and the appearance of a serial killer in town on top of it all.  Cosette has more than her fair share of angst, but through all the dark she still finds some bright spots to cling to. Her best friend and her mother do everything they can to look out for Cosette but the one who is truly always by her side is her boyfriend Chris, the Clyde to her Bonnie.


Cosette’s story, while dark and heavy, is well written, compelling, and beautifully layered. Atty Eve does a wonderful job of capturing all of your senses and really making you feel the scenes around you. The plot is well-paced and takes several unexpected turns that keep you on your toes. While as a character you may have a hard time relating to, or even really liking, Cosette… you can’t help but feel for her and her struggles. There were several times while listening that I found myself holding my breath waiting to see how she would handle a situation.


The biggest bright spot of this audiobook, for me at least, is absolutely the masterful narration by Michelle Sparks. Michelle took a difficult subject and turned it into a beautifully heartfelt view into the twisted mind of a girl truly struggling to find herself and deal with her illness and her demons. She handles the characterizations with a deft hand and transitions seamlessly between them, able to give each character a distinct feel. The level of emotion Michelle pours into her performance is breathtaking and brings this story truly to life.


All in all this is a deep dive into the darkness of mental illness and a view into what it can look like when you no longer fight and give into that darkness. There are four books in this series, and while I think this book was incredibly well done, I don’t think I will read or listen to the others. It’s just a little too heavy for me and my experiences.

We reviewed this book as part of the My Beautiful Suicide Blitz. My Beautiful Suicide is the first in a series.

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