Beauty and the Beefcake by Pippa Grant
May 17, 2018
There are two kinds of women in the world – those I can bang, and those I can’t.
My teammate’s sister?
She’s a can’t.
I moved in with her to protect her from a nasty ex, not to be the next guy in line.
She’s the brains.
I’m the brawn.
She’s the fruit.
I’m the sausage.
She talks too much.
I don’t talk at all, if I don’t have to.
Should be easy to resist her.
But every minute I spend with Felicity is another minute she gets under my skin. She makes me feel like something more than a dumb puckhead with a big Zamboni pony. And it’s getting harder to remember why I need to keep my hands to myself.
Beauty and the Beefcake is a vegan-friendly standalone romantic comedy featuring a hockey player whose vocabulary is the only thing smaller than a hockey puck, a book smart but aimless ventriloquist with too many voices in her head, a dilapidated old house that may or may not be haunted, and no cheating or cliffhangers.
“I’m finally where I’m supposed to be. Where I never thought I’d find. A home. For my heart.”
If I told you I wanted you to write a story where the heroine speaks in multiple voices and the hero barely speaks at all, you’d probably think I was nuts. And if I then added that you had to throw in a pet monkey, a pile of rain-soaked cookies printed with genitals, and that you needed to make it one of the most romantic and touching books of the year, you’d most likely have me committed. Well, I can’t comment on author Pippa Grant’s mental stability, but I will say that THIS IS THAT BOOK. And I don’t know how she does it, because I swear after every book of hers, I think, well, this one can’t be topped. And yet she continues to prove me wrong.
Felicity Murphy is brilliant. She has an IQ off the charts, multiple degrees and even more talents. But she’s also got about 99 problems. And ex-boyfriends, the ghost of her Gammy, her inability to keep a job and an overbearing older brother are only four of them. One of said sibling’s NHL teammates moving in with her? Just add it to the list.
Ares Berger is a force. No, like, literally, he’s actually The Force. That’s his NHL nickname. And on the ice, he’s silent, but deadly. Emphasis on the silent. His twin, Zeus, has always done the talking for him. But now they’re on separate teams, and even worse, he’s out for weeks with an injury. His world is completely off its axis. So when Nick Murphy asks him for a favor, he gives his signature grunt and moves in to protect Murphy’s sister Felicity from the insane string of exes she can’t seem to shake. I mean, things are already upside-down for him. They couldn’t possibly get crazier, right? Wrong.
This story will bring you large doses of Pippa’s over the top hilarity, as you’d expect. But what you might not be counting on? Is how often you will tear up while reading this book. From Ares’ sweet and gentle personality and heartbreaking backstory, to Felicity’s desire to just be accepted for who she is and what she loves, these two characters absolutely stole my heart. A little boy band karaoke never hurts, either. And while I quite often snorted with laughter, I also spent just as much time dabbing at my eyes over this wonderfully written love story about a beast, his beauty and their monkey.
Jodi is a former elementary school teacher/curriculum writer turned SAHM. She lives in NH and has three girls ages 8, 6 and 3. Every day is a chaotic surprise in her house and reading is her stress reliever/escape hatch. She has enjoyed reading since she was very little, and loves a wide variety of genres, including everything from classics like Anna Karenina and Pride and Prejudice to sexy, smutty romance. She also enjoys coffee, chocolate, and wine, in that order throughout the day, and is very content any time she can go to the bathroom alone.