I Hate Everyone, Except You by Clinton Kelly

  • I Hate Everyone, Except You
I Hate Everyone, Except You Book Cover I Hate Everyone, Except You
Clinton Kelly
Biography & Autobiography
Gallery Books
January 10, 2017
Hardback, Kindle, Kindle Audible,

Bestselling author and television host Clinton Kelly pens a hilariously candid, deliciously snarky collection of essays about his journey from awkward kid to slightly-less-awkward adult. Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore-unknown secrets about himself, like that he’s a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey’s premier water parks, and perhaps the world’s least enthused high-school commencement speaker. Whether he’s throwing his baby sister in the air to jumpstart her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his best friend from death by mud bath, Clinton leaps life’s social hurdles with aplomb. With his signature wit, he shares his unique ability to navigate the stickiest of situations, like deciding whether it’s acceptable to eat chicken wings with a fork on live television (spoiler: it’s not). Clinton delves into all these topics—and many more—in this thoroughly unabashedly frank and uproarious collection.

More than I wanted to know…

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Imagine with me for a minute;  you are in New York City for the weekend, strolling through Manhattan late one afternoon and happen to bump into Clinton Kelly, the wildly popular TV personality and former co-host of the ground breaking make-over show What Not To Wear.



He’s fashionably dressed and greets you with a warm “Hello”.

You gushingly reply, “I loved you on What Not To Wear.  You were such an inspiration.”

Out of the blue he asks, “Would you like to join us for drinks? I am just heading there now.”

How can you resist such an offer.  bar sceneYou get to the bar and start out with a few beers as Clinton begins to tell you about his childhood and how he ended up in television.  Kind of trivial, but somewhat interesting just because of the way Clinton tells it.  As the night progresses you switch to liquor; as the alcohol flows so do the words from Clinton’s mouth. You learn about his penis, his marriage to Damon, his dog Mary, his political and religious views and a number of random thoughts and details about his life.

The night ends abruptly and the next thing you know you are waking in your hotel room the next morning, vaguely remembering the night before.  The specifics of the conversation seem to run together and you are not really sure of the point of the whole evening.  The one thing you are convinced of is that you learned things about Clinton Kelly that you would have been happy not to know, even though you enjoyed your time listening to him and his humorous way of looking at life.  In other words, it wasn’t the most productive thing you have ever done, or the most thrilling or exciting night, but it wasn’t a complete waste.

In a nutshell this was I hate everyone, except you by Clinton Kelly.  If you are a fan of Clinton’s then this may be your chance to learn things you never knew about him.  For everyone else, well…. maybe a few stiff drinks will help you get through it.


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